"And By Meeting You....I Mean Doing You!"

so there was much coolness to be had this weekend. a couple of gals from school (Sandylicious and Jama-lama-ding-dong to be specific) organized for a bunch of us to go volunteer some free massage work for the construction workers and cast and crew of Extreme Makeover Home Edition.

EEEEKKKK!!!!!!! HOW F#$%ING COOL IS THAT?!

yeah, seriously.

so it was one of the best expreiences i've had in a really long time. and i think the people we worked on really appreciated it too. it totally rocked my world...for real.

AND...I met Ty Pennington.

YIPPEEEEEEE!!!!

I HATE THAT TIM McGRAW/NELLY SONG!

so i'm alway spewing out my "top ten" opinions about songs and musicians and stuff so i actually wrote some of them down today...

wannahearithereitgo:

Sonny's top ten(ish) songs ever...EVER!!! (in no particular order, of course)

1. I only have eyes for you - the flamingos
2. Something I can never have - NIN
3. Jeremy - Pearl Jam
4. GO - Moby
5. Mediate - INXS
6. Music - Madonna (love her)
7. Woodstock - Joni Mitchell
8. Music Selector is the Soul Reflector - DeeLite
9. Jive Talkin' - BeeGees
10. The Gambler - Kenny Rogers
11. 3 Libras - A Perfect Circle
12. My Beautiful Blue Sky - Moby
13. The Great Below - NIN
14. Silly Love Songs - Wings (that song gives me warm fuzzies)
15. How Soon Is Now? - The Smiths
16. More Human Than Human - White Zombie
17. What it feels like for a girl - Madonna
18. The Cars That Go Boom - La Trimm
19. The Reflex - Duran Duran
20. Psychoactive Drugs - EBN

now those who really know me are probably wondering "why the hell does he not have any Prince songs on that list"...the answer is simple, i would have had to put down every prince song ever written...except "cream".

that song sucked.

...in the meantime someone go out and burn me a cd with all these songs on it.

And in the same tradition:

Sonny's top 10 musicians/bands...EVER!! (in order)

1. Prince (of course)
2. Nine Inch Nails
3. Madonna
4. U2
5. Moby
6. The Chemical Brothers
7. Tool/A Perfect Circle (hey! they have Maynard in common)
8. DeeLite
9. Dead Can Dance
10. Lords Of Acid

and really quick:

Sonny's Top 5 Movies...EVER!!!

1. The Color Purple
2. All 3 Lord of the Rings
3. Batman (the first one)
4. Hairspray
5. Party Girl (h-h-hellooo)

"In the end we're all Springer guests, really, we just haven't been on the show." - Marilyn Manson

You know it's funny when you treat yourself to a concert as an early birthday present last minute, you go all alone and then you run into all sorts of people that you know and end up having a great time hanging out with them. that's so cool.

oh yeah-Marilyn Manson ROCKS my world!

You Are a New School Democrat

You like partying and politics - and are likely to be young and affluent. You're less religious, traditional, and uptight than most Democrats. Smoking pot, homosexuality, and gambling are all okay in your book. You prefer that the government help people take care of themselves.

What political persuasion are you?

"Well At Least I'm Not Short, Fat and Ugly."
"HEY!..I Am Not Short!!"

Who loves 35 cent wing night?

WE DO!
WE DO!

I wanna get down and kiss the feet of the founder of Buffalo Wild Wings, really I do.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOOOOINNGG???"

pop-up ads are annoying, expecially when you are looking for riddles and you get a slew of porn ads. yikes! then again, if your looking for girls who are barely 18 would you get a bunch of pop-ups for riddles? how exactly does it work?

Meanwhile somewhere totally different:

I hope "Cinnabuns" and "Courtney" realize their love soon. then THEY can get married.

i hate to admit it, but i think the plan that we've been coming up with regarding what to do when the zombies attack...might not work. i'm really concerned that there might some flaws in our plan. so we may have to regroup. however...when the terrorists, spies or dinosaurs attack, we're all set.

"It's A Condom"..."It's So True"

I faux finished a wall today. i did...all by myself. in part of the massive reconstruction of the upstairs into a Tuscan Paradise, the foyer wall leading into the dining room was painted "navajo red". That apparantly translates into "poop brown" in my book. i know, i know...it's not my house so i don't say anything, but really, i had to draw the line somewhere. and boy was i ever vocal about it. yesterday i had finally had enough and today i toned the poo wall down a few notches. the color we picked out to compliment the doodie ended up looking like the "flesh" colored crayon right out of the crayola box. doesn't sound very attractive i know (who wants to take their interior from "nature's gift" to an infants bottom at changing time), but it really does look good. everything turned out a nice "rusty al fresco". I'm so proud and it only took 5 hours. now i want to faux finish everthing (my dog's next).

oh! it's all so Martha Stewart! i could just puke. next thing you know i'll be making my own marshmallows and toothpaste.

It's a Good Thing.

"Lesbians LOVE Whale Watching"

alright, you've pestered me enough and you didn't follow the clues, so here it is:

What I Really Think.

I had the strangest experience in class yesterday, i was on the table and we were doing a cranial palpation excercise that lasted 'bout 20 minutes and i totally checked out. totally. gone. disassociated...but not in a bad way really. and as i was about to start snoring, i came back and "jumped" back into my body. (it was all very Shirley McClaine) but the best part is that when i came back i was really hyperaware of everything going on in the room. AND...i started seeing all these colors bleeding into eachother, my own private light show. and my partner doing the excercise with me experienced it too! how strange and cool all at the same time.

And to think...all that money i wasted on drugs in my youth. Who knew?!

"Candy, The Real Terror"

Things we've learned:

A) I can't bowl to save my life.

and really...that's about it, that's what i learned last night.

I joined a bowling league. i dont' know why, but it sounded fun, and it is! however i didn't take into consideration my lack of ability in the bowling arena.

oh well live and learn, as the kids like to say.

Queen Lativa Got West Niles While Looking For An Andaconda!!Really, she did!

OK, i know, it's been a long time. I can't lie and say i've had alot going on or anything, i've just been lazy. What have i been up to in this big ol gap in time? Let's see...

• I went out and saw Big Bad Voodoo Daddy again this weekend, with my Dad...for free. That's always good.
• We've been stolen from at work, that's right, someone is stealing monies from the establishment. Polygraphs have been threatened...whatever.
• I'm done with another quarter at school. Neuroanatomy goodness is no more. Pathology is up next. The price of school books is outrageous, it's highway robbery really...and that's coming from me and i work in the movie theater industry!
• There's remodeling going on at home, the entire upstairs is being renovated (i think some people have seen way too much HGTV), so i've been sequestered to the basement. i could be cleaning, but actually i'm really just sleeping.
• School's back in for all the kiddies and we are ever sooo slow at work. I'm trying to find ways to occupy my time...perhaps updating my blog, (hey wait a minute!). Then again, who really wants to see Anacondas 2?

Not really much going on.

My birthday is coming up...i wanna' go to vegas anyone wanna be my date?

"That's it, I'm going to learn how to play the bagpipes...and the recorder"

I always find it fun to meet new people. In fact it's something I'm always down for. Especially online. There is nothing more fun than IM'ing a total stranger and just saying "hi". I guess it would take someone off guard to just get a random IM from a total stranger, you know in a "the call is coming from inside the house..." sorta way. but my intentions are always good and i try to be as polite as possible. It is a safe way to make friends...especially if they're cute

sometimes it works out...sometimes it doesn't. ah well, can't blame a guy for trying, right?

OH YEAH - did I mention that I am sick? Oh yes. I have the Olympic Fever. It's like a sick addiction, i know, but it happens every time. Every Single Time. I just can't help it. I'm up till all hours of the night, scrambling in the morning before work and school to find a blank video tape. OH LAWDY! It's awful. If there was ever a justification for me to run out right now and buy myself some TiVO...this is it!!

I guess I just need the sniffiling, sneezing, gymnastics, swimming, badmitten, boxing, coughing, aching, cycling, shot put, running, decathalon, so you can rest medicine.

fyi - Paul Hamm is my new hero.

"AAAGH I'm Blinded By The Bling!!"

What exactly is going on here?!

Strange things are happening to my body. (and not in a "I'm getting armpit hair" sorta' way) First off I have this mystery illness that landed me in the ER a few days ago, and since then I've been in a kaleidoscope daze of painkillers and sleep. Yea Myalgia!!

And now (hic) I have the hiccups (hic), again (hic)....last night I had them (hic) for 3 hours! (hic) What's up (hic, hic) with that. One of My (hic) employees told me to think(hic) of an upside down pine(hic)apple, What the hell's up with that. But (hic) I gotta tell you, it (hic) worked, temporarily (hic) good lord...This (hic) sucks.

quote of the day - "Is it boobs that make you hot? 'Cusifitiz'...then I'm Brad Pitt." - Winnie

(hic)

"The Call Is Coming From Inside The House"

Now, I know that it's healthy for everybody to have an interest, or a hobby of sorts. But when is that hobby crossing the line? There is this woman that I work with, and the other night she spent thirty dollars playing one of those dumb crane machines (I apologize, there is no reason for me to name call an inanimate object just because of the actions of one person).  She actually spent thirty dollars...THIRTY DOLLARS!!! I suppose she did get 16 stuffed animals in return for her 2 hours of blood sweat and tears...

I MEAN REALLY!

I shouldn't judge other people for what they do with their money (seeing as I made some questionable purchases myself the other night), but what the hell is a married 29 year old woman going to do with 16 stuffed animals?....SIXTEEN!...THIRTY DOLLARS!!!!  

 geeze. 

"This Is Glorious"..."Uh, There's Nothing There"

Last night I made the trek all the way up to Central City to go see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy with my Big Bad Voodo Daddy (My Pop's). It was cold and raining and it was standing room only, but it was amazing. The band was flawless and  the energy in the "venue" was insane. I think that was about half of the reason the show was good, the other half was spending some time with my dad. It's not very often that a guy can go to a concert (or something like that) with his dad and both of you are totally into it. It was fun to see my dad rockin' out to "the big bad voodoo sounds" and i was right there along with him...swingin' away. I've been humming BBVD songs all morning and I am in such a great mood today. A good concert will do that to ya', but so will rockin' out with your dad.

Dad...you're one cool dude.


pic: www.BBVD.com

That's a Totally Different Oprah
 
I've been having neck pain...dunno what that's all about.
 
AND...
 
I've been having nightmares. I haven't had nightmares in a really long time, since i was a kid actually, and they've been really weird too. In one my sister drove us over a cliff in her mini van and all i kept trying to do is put on my seat belt. Like that's gonna help. In another I was about to be killed by vampires, and in last night's i was delivering a truck to southeastern colorado and we were pulled over by by some native american medicine man and his wife and i turned around and he took her away all screaming (it was dark and very Blair Witch) and then he turned invisible and started beating me to death.
 
Weird huh?

"How Can Something Sarong Be So Right?"  
 
Ah-Ha! so with more improvements, bloggy time can be more fun...with pictures.   The first is a favorite of mine, a little pic-o-rama of me in Haiti: 

 

HA! I'm Eating A Piggy

So see...it's not that hard to find. you just need a dictionary...geeze.

and speaking of dictionary related things here are a few definitions we've all been aching to know:

Milk Shake:
1) noun - A drink consisting of milk and Icecream.
2) slang - A woman's body and the way she carries it.

"Ahh shoot cuz, did you see that chick's milkshake? I mean, the way she was walking with that booty shakin' was so off the hizzy"


Wardrobe Malfunction:
1)A lame excuse offered by a major television network after broadcasting nude images of a used singer.
2)Term created by Justin Timberlake trying to be intelligent. He failed. Miserably.

"It was...*glances at cue card* a... wa... ar..... wardrobe mal.... malfunct.. wardrobe malfunction! Yeah! I can read!"

fo' shizzle my nizzle:
"fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo'sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother"

gayed:
adverb: an object that has been acted upon and taken the characteristics of a homosexual male.

"That queer totally gayed out his honda civic. We should dong slap him into the ground"

dong slap:
The act of being hit with a coin of the vietnamese national currency.

"Nguyen slapped me with his dong."

(all brought to you by the very lovely folks @ UrbanDictionary.com)

"If It Doesn't Have Nacho Cheese On It, Then It's Just Not Worth Eating"

No original thoughts today, but you do get this:

David Lettermen's top 10 on Friday 7/2
George W Bush's top 10 complaints about Fahrenheit 9/11....
10. That actor who played the President was totally unconvincing

9. It oversimplified the way I stole the election

8. Too many of them fancy college-boy words

7. If Michael Moore had waited a few months, he could have included the part where I get him deported

6. Didn't have one of them hilarious monkeys who smoke cigarettes and gives people the finger

5. Of all Michael Moore's accusations, only 97% are true

4. Not sure - - I passed out after a piece of popcorn lodged in my windpipe

3. Where the hell was Spider-man?

2. Couldn't hear most of the movie over Cheney's foul mouth

1. I thought this was supposed to be about dodgeball

"It Smells Like Wet Cardboard, Right?"

So I decided to add a new feature up in here (or "up in herr", if you're from da hood), anyone can now add comments to my posts. That's right...ANYONE!

So if you find the need to elaborate on my mundane-ness...feel free.

Everyone Here Is Invited Over For Breakfast, At My Place

I'm normally not all political but i grabbed this:

"To get some perspective, here are some real-life comparisons about what $87 billion means:

$87 Billion is enough to pay the 3.3 million people who have lost jobs under George W. Bush $26,363.00 each! The unemployment benefits extension passed by Congress at the beginning of this year provides zero benefits to workers who exhausted their regular, state unemployment benefits and cannot find work [Source: Center on Budget and Policy Priorities].

$87 Billion is more than double the total amount the government spends on Homeland Security. The U.S. spends about $36 billion on homeland security. Yet, Sen. Warren Rudman (R- N.H.) wrote, America will fall approximately $98 .4 billion short of meeting critical emergency responder needs for homeland security without a funding increase. [Source: Council on Foreign Relations].

$87 Billion is 87 times the amount the Federal Government spends on After School Programs. George W. Bush proposed a budget that reduces the $1 billion for after-school programs to $600 million cutting off about 475,000 children from the program. [Source: The Republican dominated House Appropriations Committee].

$87 Billion is more that 10 times what the Government spends on all environmental Protection. The Bush administration requested just $7.6 billion for the entire Environmental Protection Agency. This included a 32 percent cut to water quality grants, a 6 percent reduction in enforcement staff, and a 50 percent cut to land acquisition and conservation. [Source: Natural Resources Defense Council].

There you go. In black and white. A few million of you will receive this letter. Please share the above with at least a half-dozen people today and tomorrow. I, like you, do not want to see another approval rating over 50 percent.

Yours,
Michael Moore
Filmmaker"


P.S.-Oh yeah the word Cankle still makes me laugh

"I'm Not Totally Opposed To Going Raw"

I was thinking today about how much I really hate Hummers (the cars). They are such a big dumb waste of time. Now I know that they are status vehicles and stuff...but by driving one around you're not even really telling everyone how rich you are, you're just telling them how dumb you are. (10 miles per gallon...I mean really.)

I've notice lots of people with lots of things going on in their lives as of late. Not to worry, it'll all work out for ya' and I'm always here to lean on. (you know who you are)

OH YEAH!!!:

If I'm going to start a rock band I'm going to name it:

CHARLENE AND THE MEOW MEOW GIRLS!
That Rocks!....no, I rock!

"Then Stop Licking Your Hands"

Question: What do monkeys wear?

Answer: Have you ever worn little hats?

There is this guy who works for our company, he's our I.T. guy to be more specific. He has the most awful memo writing skills ever. Which just adds to the list of things about him that annoy me. For instance he has no personality, which normally isn't a big deal...but he thinks he's funny. Have you ever been around someone who has nothing in the personality department and thinks he's the funniest thing on earth....Wait a minute....Don't answer that.

Quoteable quote of the day: "Sometimes ten people only look like four" -Jenna

Did You Take The Pills Or Did You Flush Them?!

ok....really? My email account is all screwy! if you need to get ahold of me (and YOU know who you are...BUSEX)try me at this email account:

djphatkat@davidbowie.com

TTFN!!

It's No Wonder I'm Not 900 Pounds

I try to make it a point to write about really dumb things on this blog and I'm finding that I have nothing remotly silly to talk about today.

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!

Now I know that my life is most certainly boring enough to have plenty of pointless crap to talk about...but today i'm a t a loss.
Today in liu of dumb stories, here are some dumb links:

Snackie Poo
Who loves Ill-MItch? WE DO, WE DO!!!
Betty Bowers is better than you, and don't you forget it!
Who Loves Clown Porn?
Not these people.
An employee's neighbor

I'm sorry....that's all i got.

I'm Fondu-ing It

It's really not cool to double book yourself on a friday night.

Last night I was eating from 6:30 to midnight. 2 birthday/dinner parties in one night.

I thought I could do it I really did. But come midnight I thought I was going to hurl all over the car.

DID YOU KNOW?: During World War II, Russians used dogs strapped with explosives to blow up German tanks. They trained the dogs to associate the tanks with food and ended up destroying about 25 German tanks using this method.

Did You Lick The Poster?.

So a co-worker of mine has come to believe that she is being poisoned by an employee of ours. A strange accusation, yes, but when i confronted the alleged suspect about it today she did get a naughty grin on her face and was nodding her head yes.

The moral of this story: dont' EVER take candy from a person with the last name Deathrage...true story.

In other news:

I had a really bad day yesterday, i'm just a little emotional. perhaps i should try something else when poisioning my co-workers.

UPDATE!!!:

Apparently the girls here at work are all upset because My co-worker got the last of the TROY posters. NOW EVERYONE IS A SUSPECT!!!!

Palp-A-Tation...

so i'm reading this guy's blog and the discussion is things that you eat that grosses everyone out, and there are some really really weird things on there, but all i can think about is this one time a friend of mine made "lasagne" with cottage cheese instead of ricotta and cheddar cheese instead of mozerella. It's more of someting i ate and not something i eat. Not something that grossed everyone else out, but just grossed me out.

maybe i didn't get the question.

OH YEAH...I'm going to a cadavar lab in a few short weeks...i'll let you know how it goes!!

Don't ever give pork green chili to Muslims

so i've come to learn today that we shouldn't kill wasps 'cause apparently they eat mosquitoes. and we all know how important that is with this WestNile nastiness still going on and stuff. Wasps are apparently our friends and we shouldn't kill them...ok?

So i was hanging out with some actors last night, not like people who are in drama classes or anything like that but real ACTORS. that's right! so we're out and about having drinks and it was so weird sitting at a table with all these people being all loud, trying to be the funniest, interrupting each other, over reacting and vying to be the center of attention...so i fit in just perfectly.

DID YOU KNOW?...
apparently all the rage is soon going to be acrylic toenails?!
no seriously, a friend of mine turned me onto this trend last night. at first i thought it was just another freakish beauty trend, but lo and behold, there's more!!!
some lady came into her shop (er, salon) and had a big toe "issue". she had some infection that consumed the middle section of her big toe and all this poor gal was left with was just a little toenail on each side with a big ol' island of skin in the middle. after much sculpting (and blood, sweat and tears i'm assuming) this sad dejected lady was all in a fluff because she could now wear sandals in the summer...it's not just beauty people, it's changing lives...
one toenail at a time.

FUN WITH FAKE SKIN!!
so here's a fun game you can play with your co-workers.

item's needed:
1 workplace
1 bottle of glue
1 co-worker with a germ/foot/dead skin phobia

do you remember when you were a kid and you put elmer's glue all over your hand and let it dry and then would peel off the big hand shaped glue sheet? it's even more fun when you make a ton of them and leave them all over your co-workers work space...notebooks, in-boxes, phone receivers, pen jar.

Next week FUN WITH BABY SPITTLE!!

"Oh Johnny Five!..."

OK, so this is funny:

Go to google and type in "Weapons of Mass Destruction" and click on "I'm Feeling Lucky" (which I usually am anyway)

Then read the error message that comes up.

in other news:

I never knew that so many people were offended by mayonaise. go fig!

(some of today's blog is brought to you in part by Mr. Atlantapants [you know who you are])

"we got spirit...YES WE DO!"

So i've had a revelation...

i'm going to start writing. for a long time i thought i had nothing to say, but now i think i do. (thanks margaret) so i'll be going into this whole big cathartic process of putting down my "statement" somehow. i think it's going to be pretty good. then again a million monkeys couldn't be wrong...could they?

Also today my physiology teacher told me that i should think about getting into teaching.

that's an odd statement.

i'm trying to figure out what i could exactly teach, here's my thoughts:

Reality tv 101
Reality tv 201

Celebrity Gossip 101

How to get away with anything by saying "but you didn't hear that from me" 101
That is a complimentary class to...
Loudmouth 101

how to find the perfect unavailable wo/man and be happy with it 101 (evening classes only)

Krispy Kreme...friend or foe? 101

oh i know, i know! i kid...it is an entertaining thought though. imagine me...a teacher! HA!

ok...so here i am again...

dunno what i'm going to talk about....or maybe 'aboot'...i love 'aboot'. don't you think 'aboot' is great? sometimes i wish i was from canada so i could say 'aboot':
"hey, buddy how's it goin'?"
"it's goin' good, do you know what time it is?"
"yeah, buddy, it's 'aboot' 3"

see, isn't that great...then of course that'd mean i'd have to be from canada.

come to think about it, i'l stick to 'about'

-peace out

p.s. - i love the word cankle too